I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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