I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
