I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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