I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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