Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize