what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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