that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
