this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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