I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
