her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
no you cant smoke seaweed
I intend to get homeless drunk
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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