i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
