yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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