Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
