Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is wine microwaveable?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
