Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
