can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
