The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
