Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
