I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I intend to get homeless drunk
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
