honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
