My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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