I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
