i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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