Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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