she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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