Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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