If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
