Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
