I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
