so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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