Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
