When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
