im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
