Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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