I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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