You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
