Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
