I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How's work?
Spinning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
