Don't you send me to vm
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
