my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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