While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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