I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
