I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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