So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
