did you get engaged???
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All the doctor said was why
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
