that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
