why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
