I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
ttyl tear gas
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
