He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just had sex on a roof
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
