I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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