Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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