i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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