No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
