It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
