One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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