You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
