I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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