dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
