Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
