Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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