Say something about gay babies.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
