So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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