plz talk dirty to me
smell my finger.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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