There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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