I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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