NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
