The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this boner is exhausting
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
