every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
