no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
