Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize