He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
