You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
